Tuesday, March 6, 2012

We love you Anak

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Sweet Chen-Chen,

There are no words I could say in this letter that would be able to express what you are to us, but I feel compelled to write them anyway.  
Ryan with his adorable daughter Chen-Chen

Do you know you changed the world? 

From the day we found out we were expecting you, we knew that God had answered our prayer.  When we started feeling you move around, we manufactured stories about who you would be. We took bets on whether you were a boy or a girl (daddy was wrong).  We talked about you all the time.  Days passed were filled with love for you long before we ever knew who you would be to us.  We talked about names, and soon started talking about everything but you.

God had something much bigger planned for your life than we could ever have imagined.

On August 20, we heard the beginning of the story.  We were downed and troubled by the news that your mother was possibly suffering pregnancy related disease and we might lose you.  You, unable to say a word, spoke volumes as we considered what had been laid before us.   The succeeding days were the lowest and darkest day of our lives as we wait for the results.  Then, news came out and you were saved by GOD’s grace.

Did you know that while you were in your mother’s tummy, you went to Topland Hotel, Amarin Lagoon Hotel, La Paloma Hotel, Grand Riverside Hotel, Pailyn Hotel, Ratanavej Hospital… and so many more places.  I never stopped talking to you. You are my daughter, and I love you like I love your mother.  We reminded you always about your brother Kaycee.  We knew that he is happy wherever he is.  We prayed for you all the time.  Our prayers never changed with the days.  

I will never, never forget the day you were born.  Nobody who was a part of it will, either. April 15th was one of the best days of my life.  You made me brave, Little-girl.  Your mommy used to be afraid of the hospital, afraid of the noises and the smell of medicine.  My whole life, I have been afraid.  I wasn't afraid that day.  I was peaceful.  I was calm.  I was in the presence of the Lord Himself more than any other time in my life.  I listened as they told me about what would be happening that day, and I nodded.  I even accompanied your mother during the delivery.  I surrendered.  I stopped worrying about me and I just fell into the arms of the Lord.  He carried us all that day, didn't He?

At 9:02 a.m., I heard your voice for the first time and tears began to fall down.  I thought I heard you squeaking and I asked if you were OK.  The Doctor looked at me and he nodded.  "She's alright."  The doctors looked you over and they listened to your heart.  They cleaned you off a little bit and then I laid you right beside your mother head.  You had one little eye opened and you were trying to take it all in.  I was too.  I put my hands on your head and just started crying because you were so beautiful.  I fell completely, head-over-heels in love with you the instant I met you.  That's who you are, Chen Chen.  

When we got back to the room, your Ninang Leah and Ninang Ejohn were already taking pictures. Do you know that they took about six hundred shots that day?  For the rest of the day, people held you, touched you, talked to you, and prayed for you.  And everybody smiled when they saw you.  There were no tears anymore.

Thank you, my sweet, sweet girl.  It is an answer to prayer.  Thank you for walking with us, and for continuing to pray.  

I love you Anak.

Daddy Ryan

An epistle of a genuine love of a father (Ryan) sent directly to his loving daughter (Chen-Chen).


enzo said...

A well-drafted letter. I was teary eyed the first time I read this letter.